On the first sunday of Lent, Pastor Elaine talked about why it is we give up addictions for Lent? In other words, how are our sacrifices bringing us closer to God?

“What do you want out of this Lent season? What are you hoping to achieve or learn?”

Some of us choose the same thing every year because it’s what we consume the most, be it a bad food/habit—or we pick something out of the blue, just to take a risk. Whatever the case, the aim is to develop good character. It’s going on two years that I’ve been going to Sunday mass, as an adult, hung over or not. Yet despite my battle with depression, I can say that I’ve found happiness in living purposefully and being charitable, Joyce Meyer  calls it “being a blessing to other people.” From May to August of 2017 I was happy. Really happy. I’d moved back home in the Spring and between yoga, gardening, Game of Thrones binging, and more yoga; I experience a personal rebirth.

 “Yoga is the effort to experience one’s divinity personally. Yoga is about self mastery and the dedicated effort to haul your attention away from your endless brooding over the past and your nonstop worrying about the future so that you can instead seek a place of eternal presence from which you may regard yourself and your surroundings with poise. True yogis see all this world as an equal manifestation of God‘s creative energy.” –Eat Pray Love

However, I continue to feel like my train is teetering on the tracks as I lack patience. My life is not going as planned for reasons I can’t comprehend. Two and three-quarter degrees, two dean’s lists, two honors societies, three TV networks, and several publications later, and I still work at a restaurant. Why? I don’t know. I’ve had glimpses of success in TV and film production but nothing stable. My faith tells me to be more patient, your life and achievements aren’t for nothing, MK.  They say If you want to make God laugh, tell him YOUR plan.

So here i am. Focusing on my Lenten promise to God to not [socially] smoke cigarettes, do new yoga routines, write a post once a week, leave the worrying behind and try and sit still. But, i am STRUG-UL-LING brothers and sisters. Week 2 and i’m one post and a bucket of tears in. However, no cigarettes, my yoga is improving, and I’ve been powering through Eat Love Pray and Born A Crime–clear signs I’m moving forward.

What i hope to achieve this Lent is a spiritual renewal greater than last year’s. I hope to strengthen my union with God by finding more peace within myself and strengthen in my own faith in God knowing that he has a plan for me. I mean Ava DuVernay, Tiffany Haddish, and J.K. Rowling are killing it. What are goals when you fast or Lent?

 Amen & Namaste 🕉